It’s World Cup 2014 time again, and from bus slogans to themed parties, everyone is getting in the spirit – and what better way to celebrate team achievements than with a team song?
I know, I know, that’s what their anthems are for, right? Well, yes. But we decided to make things a little more fun and… “personalising” things a little more for the boys.
So play it loud, play it proud, get behind your men and country as they strive to be world champions!
Given the warnings handed out to tourists for the last several years about Brazilian life, it was hard to go past the Aerosmith classic, “Janie’s Got A Gun“. Yes, she does – and potentially a hostage if you’re not careful. Give ’em your cash if you want your kidneys.
It’s got to have them nervous – the opening match of the tournament against the host nation, with thousands of Brazilians wanting blood early on… the collaboration of Queen and David Bowie for “Under Pressure” seems quite apt.
So much goodness emanates from Mexico – tacos, tequila, chocolate and chilli. But, if you ever dare to combine the four, you’re going to feel the pain; just like Johnny Cash did with his “Ring Of Fire“.
The first African nation to reach the quarter finals of a World Cup, Cameroon have performed well at this tournament in the past but struggled in the final hurdles. A classic from Guns ‘N’ Roses, “Patience” will be encouraging for their fans.
They’re probably the biggest threat to Brazil. I mean, let’s face it, they’re reigning champs, their squad is incredible… why wouldn’t they be a little offended in not being favourites again? Twisted Sister’s “We’re Not Gonna Take It” is probably belting out from their rooms as we speak.
Always in fighting, always interesting, a completely insane manager, yet they still manage to pull it together when it counts. INXS’s “Never Tear Us Apart” seems suitable.
Hey, Chile, you’re the enemy of every Australian at the moment, particularly after Tim Cahill announced that the Socceroos expect you to play dirty. AC/DC did a great one for you – “Dirty Deeds Done Dirt Cheap“. (Yeah, Chile. Bring it).
The lowest ranked team in the competition, in arguably the most difficult pool… it was hard to go past A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera’s “Say Something” – mostly for the “I’m giving up on you” part.
It’s a sad fact that Colombia has one of the highest drug trades in the world, so Arctic Monkeys “Why’d You Only Call Me When You’re High?” naturally came into play.
Financially, they’re still recovering from the meltdown that left the nation in almost ruins – yet admirably, the men from Greece are still here. But will football be on their minds? Perhaps the Steve Miller Band’s “Take The Money And Run” would be appropriate.
Yaya Toure probably has the most watched thigh in the Ivory Coast at the moment and time is running out for him. Europe’s “The Final Countdown” should be banging out of their bus like no tomorrow.
Did you know that late night dancing is illegal in Japan? ILLEGAL. Imagine telling the party animals in Brazil something like that. So it will be of little surprise to see the Japanese living it up whilst they can. Get grooving to Earth Wind and Fire’s “Boogie Wonderland“.
They’ve done it before, stealing the show from Brazil when they took out the title in 1950 from the raging home town favourites. Although unlikely this time, Radiohead’s “No Surprises” should become the national anthem if they can pull it off again.
The poor men from Costa Rica haven’t had the best lead up to the Cup, with Heiner Mora being withdrawn on Tuesday with a broken heel. After losing Bryan Oviedo and Álvaro Saborío earlier on, expect to hear Pink Floyd’s “Wish You Were Here” being played mournfully.
Poor England. Promise so much. Deliver so little. It must be hard watching from the sidelines with the immense talent they’ve had over the years. Why not give them one of their best artist’s songs anyway? How’s John Lennon’s “Jealous Guy” fit?
What can we say? HAIM’s “Falling“. For obvious reasons.
Switzerland, where chocolate is a currency, most wine is home grown and marijuana is decriminalised. What a combination! Sounds like Led Zeppelin’s “Stairway To Heaven” fits like a glove.
Team Ecuador rocked up to Brazil in some pretty nifty attire, with navy blue suits being all the rage, second only to Italy’s three piece suits from sponsors Dolce and Gabbana. Perhaps they need to learn what the real world is like – Jimmy Barnes’ “Working Class Man” will set them on the right path.
France, the wonder guys of a few tournaments back, surprise winners and all… but can they do it again? Probably not, let’s be honest. So it works on so many levels – Cheap Trick’s “Surrender“.
Their first match is against France, which they might find difficult. Having only appeared at the World Cup twice, they need all the help they can get… Kylie Minogue’s “I Should Be So Lucky” might help get them through the next couple of weeks.
One of, if not the greatest player in the world hailed from Argentina in Maradona. God like in his ability, yet not without troubles. Def Leppard’s “Pour Some Sugar On Me” fits perfectly – just make sure it’s actually sugar.
Bosnia and Herzegovina
Playing in their first World Cup, most people expect little of Bosnia and Herzegovina. That said, many expected little of New Zealand four years ago and they were the only team to not drop a game. Van Halen’s “Dreams” will have the boys flying.
They have an interesting and chequered history at World Cups, Iran. Their team would be relishing having the chance to be in Brazil at all. Eagle-Eye Cherry’s “Save Tonight” is a great tune for them because, honestly, when are they going to get back?
Having been in the news for all of the wrong reasons lately, the Nigerian squad probably need some inspiration. Although Passenger’s “Let Her Go” was the obvious one, let’s go with Frankie Goes To Hollywood “Relax“.
There’s many a football fan of the belief that Germany may actually take out the title; and it wouldn’t be that big of a surprise, let’s be honest. Whether they do or not, you can guarantee that Germany will go all out, just like Jon Bon Jovi did for “Blaze of Glory“.
Yes, they have Ronaldo. But just how fit is he and how far can he carry the nation? Meh. I imagine Portugal will be playing anything by Justin Bieber. Both overrated.
Their first pool match is against the USA and it’s time for Africa to bite back. USA For Africa’s “We Are The World” seems perfect, just to really out-psych them.
It’s acknowledged that the US will either shine brightly or crash and burn in Brazil. But there is one thing that is indisputable; self importance and patriotism. As self appointed leaders of the free world, George Michael’s “Freedom” should be ringing loud.
In one of the more bizarre World Cup articles of late, Oxfam released a statement saying that Belgium would win the World Cup in 2014 – if it was based on inequality. Nothing to do with ability or luck – inequality.
Right. For that, Belgium, your team song is Denis Leary’s “I’m An Asshole“.
Zinadine Zidane hails from Algeria, but aside from that, Algeria have had little impact on the footballing world. The chances of them scoring a goal in the tournament are actually quite low, but we have faith. Still, Smashing Pumpkins summed it up nicely, with “Zero“.
With tempers still frayed and no one really quite sure what to make of the Russians these days (particularly Ukrainians), maybe the New Radicals “You Get What You Give” is a timely reminder for Russia to just chill a little. With vodka. Lots and lots of vodka.
Poor South Korea, or Korea Republic as they’re titled at the tournament. With peace issues at home, scoring issues on the field fade into the background. Cold Chisel’s “When The War Is Over” might help soothe their frazzled heads.
So there you have it. The anthems to be belting out throughout the tournament.
Best of luck, everyone, it’s four more years until we get to do this again!