What They Really Said – Andy Flower

Andy Flower

(Picture: The Guardian)

We’ve all heard the official statements and read press releases that are enunciated in a way that you just know the author has had the content sanitised and more often than not, put through a million proof readings to ensure nothing out of line is said.

But sometimes, you just know that they’re bursting at the seams to say what is really on their mind.  We all know what they either want, or are trying, to say.

Take this week’s subject – English cricket coach, Andy Flower…

What he said:

“I think the prospect of building a new, successful England side would excite any coach.”

What he meant:

“Coaches like challenges.  Making a successful English side at the moment is an easier challenge than liking Kevin Pietersen.”

What he said:

“The England job is one of the bigger jobs in international cricket, and I’m very proud to have been a part of it so far.”

What he meant:

“I’m not going to be here for much longer, am I?”

What he said:

“I think any coach would be excited working with players like Root and Stokes – and we’ve got a youngster in Borthwick that’s just been added to the squad as well. That’ll be exciting for our coaches. We’ve seen a little bit of talent, and a little bit of the future, in those players.”

What he meant:

“We’re looking to the future, because the present is downright horrible.”

What he said:

“I know Alastair and I will work hard to get the most out of those young guys, and work together for the betterment of English cricket.”

What he meant:

“Alastair and I will try find a solution because, well, it can’t get worse.”

What he said:

“We’ve had a lot of good times as an England side and we’ve enjoyed those. And this is a tough time now that we’ve got to go through.”

What he meant:

“Please don’t sack me.”

What he said:

“The guys are fighting, not fighting well enough obviously. Our batting over the four Tests has generally let us down.”

What he meant:

“Remember Andy Flintoff? He went into boxing, so we can fight. Granted, his boxing career is about as successful as our current tour. We suck. We know we suck.”

What he said:

“When I examine my role in the tour, I ask myself tough questions.”

What he meant:

“Natural yoghurt or quinoa bar for breakfast?”

What he said:

“But my focus at the moment is the Sydney Test match … we’ve got the opportunity of two days’ preparation to get into as good and positive a state of mind as possible to take on that challenge of the fifth Test.”

What he meant:

“Sydney is good this time of year, right? Two days of fireworks, beach, festivities and food before we make ourselves look stupid again.”

Yup. You just know that was what he had written down initially…

About Mindy Pawsey

Overly passionate Aussie sportswriter who holds as many Tour de France titles as Lance Armstrong, as many Rugby World Cups as Quade Cooper and has lost less Ashes series than Ricky Ponting. You offer me biltong, I promise I'm yours - and PC isn't my thing. Follow me on Twitter at @MKPS001.
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